Sunday, 16 March 2014

Ever ask yourself why your single and that other girl isnt? If you say yes congratulations, if you say no your lying! So again the other day i was thinking, like most days and as we all do i thought, why the fuck am i single. People are always saying 'wait for someone to fall in love with your personality' blah blah blah, fuck those people, im gonna tell you now they are bullshitting you.You think all those people in relationships just sit at home every night and then one sunday someone just happened to fall in love with their personality. Not likely. However i did come up with some kind of solution as to why guys choose some girls over others. I managed to group girls into two categories, the burgers and the steaks. Now let me explain further. The burgers are fast, easy, cheap and dirty. Every now and then you always fancy a burger, but imagine having a burger everyday for the rest of your life? For the first week its great, you dont have to do anything, its just there for you ready, but eating a burger everyday forever isnt gonna make you feel good, its not gonna give you what you need to survive. Now comes the steaks, their juicy, well primed, expensive and full of everything you need but steaks take time. You have to decide how you want it, where your gonna get it, how much your gonna pay for it because your gonna get something different everytime. Eating a steak everyday for the rest of your life would be great, right? I figure it goes a little something like this..
Theres a great resteraunt, everyone talks about it, the waiting list is long and your day has finally come to eat there. You get there, there all out of steaks but theyve got burgers, bundles of burgers because no one goes there to eat a burger. So what do you do. Get the burger? or rebook so you can get that steak that youv been wanting? Ofcourse you get the burger, your starving you need something to fulfill your needs, right there and then. The burgers good at the time, its everything you need, but a few hours later your hungry again, you wish youd have waited for the steak, but you didnt. Much like girls, boys tend to take whats available rather than waiting for what they actually want. Nobody ever remembers a burger, they all come in a bun, they all taste the same and they all leave that bit of nasty grease on your lips that makes you regret your decision entirely, but a steak, if you get the right steak, cooked prefect for you, you bet youll remember, youll always go back for more. I kinda think this rule apply for people who cheat, you know the phrase 'once a cheat always a cheat' to me it hits the nail right on the head. Back to the burger, you can eat a steak everyday, forever, it will be lovely youll enjoy it thoroughly but once youv tasted a burger youll want that taste again, maybe not in a week, or a month or even a year, but eventually your gonna need to get your burger fix.
So yeah thats my theory.

Boys are like bags

Im a stranger, with lots of thoughts swirling around in my head and last night, among other nights i got to thinking. Thinking about the obvious; boys and the big shit storm that comes with having one, or indeed the lack of one. Since 2012 ive had my eye on the Alexander Wang duffle bag and ive wanted it for fucking ages, day in day out i think about it and wish i had it. Im thinking boys are pretty much the same, y'know you really want it, you pine about it for months on end, then when you finally get it its lovely, its brand new, no one elese has had it. The after after a few months you spill something on it, you wash it but it aint coming off, its stuck. You look at it in reality its not all its cracked up to be and your just sat there wondering why you spent £800 on something so shit and breakable. So yeah moral of the story, head to topshop darling because when a £40 bag gets a stain it aint gonna ruin your life.